How to Buy The Dying of Delight
"Steals up on you like sunlight on a winter morning" - Helen Walsh.
ONLY £5.00!
(Unless you're non-UK: Email me, and I'll alter postage - £3.00 in Europe, and £5.00 in rest of world).
I have five things to tell you.
(1) My book is ace. It's called The Dying Of Delight. It's brilliant. It's about two women, linked by a mysterious trauma that occurs during the solar eclipse of 1999. It's dark but witty, surreal but engaging. It's a pull-you-through tale of suspense, and a spirited portrait of lives gone astray.
(2) Being a writer's a pain in the arse. You sit scribbling in solitude and paranoia, coming up for air every now and then to air your self-pity and shout "I'm here! I exist!" feeling certain that nobody can hear you and not a soul knows you exist. When you finally find a publisher, they sell tons of copies of your book and then go and do stupid things like putting themselves out of business. Of course, the day you find out you're getting published is the most exciting one of your life, and it's pretty cool when loads of people say nice stuff about your book, but... No! Come back! Don't do it!
(3) Most people are too clever to buy a book just because you tell them to. Bastards. That's why you have to get people to read it first, then rave about it, then force it down each other's throats.
(4) Loads of people have read my book and raved about it. No, really. Read the reviews. I'm telling the truth, so ner.
(5) BUY MY BOOK AND THEN MAKE EVERYONE ELSE BUY IT TOO. The only way I can make a living at this insane occupation is if you BUY MY BOOK. Ahem. Sorry for shouting. But please BUY MY BOOK. Or I'll come round your house and shout at you some more.
(5 and a bit) If you have a blog, you could always have a go at the Book Title Meme. It's a book marketing ploy, cunningly disguised as, er, a book marketing ploy.
"Pulses with guts, energy and wit" - Julia Darling
THE SMALL PRINT:
All copies are signed (with a personal message where possible), unless you prefer otherwise. The book costs £5.00 + postage (original cover price £9.99). UK postage is £2.00, Europe is £3.00, rest of world is £5.00. If you enjoy the book (or even if you don't), do consider leaving feedback. Please do also have a look at the other Diva Authors, many of whom, like me, will have books to sell.
PAYING BY CREDIT OR DEBIT CARD:
If you would NOT like a signed copy, or would like a personal message, please indicate when asked.
"A wild, psychedelic ride" - The Rainbow Network
ONLY £5.00!
(Unless you're non-UK: Email me, and I'll alter postage - £3.00 in Europe, and £5.00 in rest of world).
"Aches with humour" - Helen Walsh.
NON-UK BUYERS:
If you are non-UK and would like to pay by credit or debit card, please email me - as the Buy Now button can't seem to cope with foreign postage costs, but I can bill you via PayPal by email. To find out postage costs or if paying by cheque, see the table below.
PAYING BY CHEQUE:
To pay by cheque, please email me and arrange to send the following amount:
(If necessary, please use the current exchange rate to convert the amount in sterling to the currency of your choice)
UK: £7.00 (£5.00 + £2.00 postage)
European Union: £8.00 (£5.00 + £3.00 postage)
Rest of World: £10.00 (£5.00 + £5.00 postage)
ONLY £5.00!
(Unless you're non-UK: Email me, and I'll alter postage - £3.00 in Europe, and £5.00 in rest of world).
I have five things to tell you.
(1) My book is ace. It's called The Dying Of Delight. It's brilliant. It's about two women, linked by a mysterious trauma that occurs during the solar eclipse of 1999. It's dark but witty, surreal but engaging. It's a pull-you-through tale of suspense, and a spirited portrait of lives gone astray.
(2) Being a writer's a pain in the arse. You sit scribbling in solitude and paranoia, coming up for air every now and then to air your self-pity and shout "I'm here! I exist!" feeling certain that nobody can hear you and not a soul knows you exist. When you finally find a publisher, they sell tons of copies of your book and then go and do stupid things like putting themselves out of business. Of course, the day you find out you're getting published is the most exciting one of your life, and it's pretty cool when loads of people say nice stuff about your book, but... No! Come back! Don't do it!
(3) Most people are too clever to buy a book just because you tell them to. Bastards. That's why you have to get people to read it first, then rave about it, then force it down each other's throats.
(4) Loads of people have read my book and raved about it. No, really. Read the reviews. I'm telling the truth, so ner.
(5) BUY MY BOOK AND THEN MAKE EVERYONE ELSE BUY IT TOO. The only way I can make a living at this insane occupation is if you BUY MY BOOK. Ahem. Sorry for shouting. But please BUY MY BOOK. Or I'll come round your house and shout at you some more.
(5 and a bit) If you have a blog, you could always have a go at the Book Title Meme. It's a book marketing ploy, cunningly disguised as, er, a book marketing ploy.
"Pulses with guts, energy and wit" - Julia Darling
THE SMALL PRINT:
All copies are signed (with a personal message where possible), unless you prefer otherwise. The book costs £5.00 + postage (original cover price £9.99). UK postage is £2.00, Europe is £3.00, rest of world is £5.00. If you enjoy the book (or even if you don't), do consider leaving feedback. Please do also have a look at the other Diva Authors, many of whom, like me, will have books to sell.
PAYING BY CREDIT OR DEBIT CARD:
If you would NOT like a signed copy, or would like a personal message, please indicate when asked.
"A wild, psychedelic ride" - The Rainbow Network
ONLY £5.00!
(Unless you're non-UK: Email me, and I'll alter postage - £3.00 in Europe, and £5.00 in rest of world).
"Aches with humour" - Helen Walsh.
NON-UK BUYERS:
If you are non-UK and would like to pay by credit or debit card, please email me - as the Buy Now button can't seem to cope with foreign postage costs, but I can bill you via PayPal by email. To find out postage costs or if paying by cheque, see the table below.
PAYING BY CHEQUE:
To pay by cheque, please email me and arrange to send the following amount:
(If necessary, please use the current exchange rate to convert the amount in sterling to the currency of your choice)
UK: £7.00 (£5.00 + £2.00 postage)
European Union: £8.00 (£5.00 + £3.00 postage)
Rest of World: £10.00 (£5.00 + £5.00 postage)
