Girls' Fun - Part Thirty-Six
[I'm transcribing edited highlights of a diary I kept when I was 15 / 16 years old, in 1985. Index here.]
[For previous instalment, see here]
[This is where the entries in the diary start getting much more sporadic - it seems I stopped keeping the diary for a while when I went back to sixth form after the summer hols, and most of the following entries were written all in a big clump, retrospectively, in November]
[three-week gap]
Sun 29th Sept, 1985 (Young Clare is 16 years old)
Philip’s birthday! He invited me to go to Alton Towers for the day with him. I bought him an “ASIA” album. He said Alton Towers was my birthday present cos he never gave me one, except our party. His parents didn’t come. We took the big car and his cousin Claire drove. There was me, Philip, Claire, Richard, Vicky, Thomas. Had a really ACE time! The queues weren’t too long and I went twice on the corkscrew! Which was ace! All the really stomach-churning rides were really good and exciting.
[another two-week gap]
Sat 12th Oct, 1985
Lucy’s come home again! Her six-month lease on the flat in Priory St is up and the landlord won’t renew it cos the girls in the flat above have complained that Lucy and Helen are too noisy, but those girls are much noisier! Anyway, Lucy’s come home today until she finds somewhere else.
[another week-long gap]
Fri 18th Oct, 1985
HEY! By the way! There’s a new girl in our sixth form and it turns out she’s the niece of Paul’s stepdad’s girlfriend, who apparently I met the same night as I met Paul. Paul’s stepdad’s girlfriend is called Anne, and her niece who I’m quite friendly with and who is really nice but maybe a bit silly and giggly is called Jane. That girl I met before the summer hols has turned out to be really awful and really in with ‘Sal and co’ and I hardly see her any more.
Sat 19th Oct, 1985
Came to Sheffield for the weekend yesterday. We went to the Leadmill (ace trendy nightclub thing but not disco-lights and Wham - it really is an old lead mill and v. ‘original’ and ‘alternative’). Anyway, late at night Paul said (after some fooling around: this is the second time I’ve visited him in Sheffield and we sleep together but so far have never actually gone all the way), anyway he said “I want you NOW” but the whole idea was totally daunting to me and I didn’t want to but he understood perfectly and was so nice about it and didn’t press matters at all.
[one day missing]
Mon 21st Oct, 1985
Half term.
I went to all Paul’s lectures ‘n’ stuff with him. First we did his laundry for him, then went into the ‘Saladbowl’ (Sheffield Lefty Cafe) and I met some other people from Worker’s Power and some from the SWP.
Then we had a Maths lecture which was really interesting and most of which I understood, then a Philosophy tutorial, with a discussion in which I joined in rather wholeheartedly, then a Psychology lecture all about elementary genetics which I found rather boring.
Then we dashed to the station and caught the train (together) back to York. When I got home, I suggested to Mum that me and Dad went to a concert tomorrow instead of have dinner and Dad agreed too, but Mum went potty and was mad that I’d left all my Sheffield stuff in Heworth too, and said she would THROW THE MEAT AWAY that she’d bought for the meal!
Tue 22nd Oct, 1985
Got a bit depressed about last night. It really did get rather nasty and apparently Mum and Dad had a big row about the concert tonight, and it’s all my fault.
We went to the concert anyway. Paul came too. And his brother and stepdad. Got rather drunk.
Wed 23rd Oct, 1985
Lazed around and got bored all day. Went to see London Contemporary Dance Theatre in Leeds in the evening. Was really good. Paul rang. He’s been in Sheffield today and had a really awful day.
Thurs 24th Oct, 1985
Set off v. early in cold morning for Paul’s dad’s house in Heworth cos me and Paul have decided to go on cycling holiday to Staithes. But was freezing and fog was v thick and Paul had a cold and NO BLOODY LIGHTS!
So we stayed in and got into Paul’s brother Rob’s gorgeous big double bed (Rob stayed the night in Pocklington) and just cuddled each other and listened to a record. Rob moved into Heworth a few weeks ago and he’s done up one of the bedrooms and it looks ace. Then Rob appeared and was v. indignant to find us in his bed.
It got all sunny and nice in the afternoon but Paul had a sore throat which he thought wouldn’t survive a night in a tent so we went to Pocklington and stayed the night there.
Fri 25th Oct, 1985
Met all Paul’s family properly last night and had tea with them and stayed up late chatting to Paul, Rob and Pat. Then me, Paul and Rob retired into Paul’s room with some vodka (not v. nice but v. potent) and Paul made the computer play random music and draw random traingles and it looked ace!
Apparently Paul reckons I ought to get on better with Pat and Rob than him! Bollocks! I much prefer him!
Last night I decided I did want to have sex with Paul and he got a durex and everything and then we found out that my bit of skin across my vagina that virgins have was so thick we couldn’t get through it! He was as gentle as possible but it still hurt. We’ve decided to wage a war of attrition against it*.
We went to the Feathers today, Paul’s local pub in Pocklington, where he seems to have done most of his growing up, and which is really important to him and he says it makes me really permanent that I’ve been there with him.
Then we set off towards Whitby. We found a campsite at Pickering and are staying there tonight. Very cold, and very tired. We’ve got a great tent though. Really snug. We’ve zipped our sleeping bags together.
Sat 26th Oct, 1985
We were absolutely freezing all last night, couldn’t warm each other up and didn’t sleep a wink, so we set off back for Pocklington again today. We made it in an hour and three quarters!
We had a bath, watched some cosy films and went to a proper nice warm bed together. We’re on our own here. Everyone else is on holiday.
*It turns out it was actually something called vaginismus, where the woman’s muscles clamp shut. I’ve written about this elsewhere.
___
[For previous instalment, see here]
[This is where the entries in the diary start getting much more sporadic - it seems I stopped keeping the diary for a while when I went back to sixth form after the summer hols, and most of the following entries were written all in a big clump, retrospectively, in November]
[three-week gap]
Sun 29th Sept, 1985 (Young Clare is 16 years old)
Philip’s birthday! He invited me to go to Alton Towers for the day with him. I bought him an “ASIA” album. He said Alton Towers was my birthday present cos he never gave me one, except our party. His parents didn’t come. We took the big car and his cousin Claire drove. There was me, Philip, Claire, Richard, Vicky, Thomas. Had a really ACE time! The queues weren’t too long and I went twice on the corkscrew! Which was ace! All the really stomach-churning rides were really good and exciting.
[another two-week gap]
Sat 12th Oct, 1985
Lucy’s come home again! Her six-month lease on the flat in Priory St is up and the landlord won’t renew it cos the girls in the flat above have complained that Lucy and Helen are too noisy, but those girls are much noisier! Anyway, Lucy’s come home today until she finds somewhere else.
[another week-long gap]
Fri 18th Oct, 1985
HEY! By the way! There’s a new girl in our sixth form and it turns out she’s the niece of Paul’s stepdad’s girlfriend, who apparently I met the same night as I met Paul. Paul’s stepdad’s girlfriend is called Anne, and her niece who I’m quite friendly with and who is really nice but maybe a bit silly and giggly is called Jane. That girl I met before the summer hols has turned out to be really awful and really in with ‘Sal and co’ and I hardly see her any more.
Sat 19th Oct, 1985
Came to Sheffield for the weekend yesterday. We went to the Leadmill (ace trendy nightclub thing but not disco-lights and Wham - it really is an old lead mill and v. ‘original’ and ‘alternative’). Anyway, late at night Paul said (after some fooling around: this is the second time I’ve visited him in Sheffield and we sleep together but so far have never actually gone all the way), anyway he said “I want you NOW” but the whole idea was totally daunting to me and I didn’t want to but he understood perfectly and was so nice about it and didn’t press matters at all.
[one day missing]
Mon 21st Oct, 1985
Half term.
I went to all Paul’s lectures ‘n’ stuff with him. First we did his laundry for him, then went into the ‘Saladbowl’ (Sheffield Lefty Cafe) and I met some other people from Worker’s Power and some from the SWP.
Then we had a Maths lecture which was really interesting and most of which I understood, then a Philosophy tutorial, with a discussion in which I joined in rather wholeheartedly, then a Psychology lecture all about elementary genetics which I found rather boring.
Then we dashed to the station and caught the train (together) back to York. When I got home, I suggested to Mum that me and Dad went to a concert tomorrow instead of have dinner and Dad agreed too, but Mum went potty and was mad that I’d left all my Sheffield stuff in Heworth too, and said she would THROW THE MEAT AWAY that she’d bought for the meal!
Tue 22nd Oct, 1985
Got a bit depressed about last night. It really did get rather nasty and apparently Mum and Dad had a big row about the concert tonight, and it’s all my fault.
We went to the concert anyway. Paul came too. And his brother and stepdad. Got rather drunk.
Wed 23rd Oct, 1985
Lazed around and got bored all day. Went to see London Contemporary Dance Theatre in Leeds in the evening. Was really good. Paul rang. He’s been in Sheffield today and had a really awful day.
Thurs 24th Oct, 1985
Set off v. early in cold morning for Paul’s dad’s house in Heworth cos me and Paul have decided to go on cycling holiday to Staithes. But was freezing and fog was v thick and Paul had a cold and NO BLOODY LIGHTS!
So we stayed in and got into Paul’s brother Rob’s gorgeous big double bed (Rob stayed the night in Pocklington) and just cuddled each other and listened to a record. Rob moved into Heworth a few weeks ago and he’s done up one of the bedrooms and it looks ace. Then Rob appeared and was v. indignant to find us in his bed.
It got all sunny and nice in the afternoon but Paul had a sore throat which he thought wouldn’t survive a night in a tent so we went to Pocklington and stayed the night there.
Fri 25th Oct, 1985
Met all Paul’s family properly last night and had tea with them and stayed up late chatting to Paul, Rob and Pat. Then me, Paul and Rob retired into Paul’s room with some vodka (not v. nice but v. potent) and Paul made the computer play random music and draw random traingles and it looked ace!
Apparently Paul reckons I ought to get on better with Pat and Rob than him! Bollocks! I much prefer him!
Last night I decided I did want to have sex with Paul and he got a durex and everything and then we found out that my bit of skin across my vagina that virgins have was so thick we couldn’t get through it! He was as gentle as possible but it still hurt. We’ve decided to wage a war of attrition against it*.
We went to the Feathers today, Paul’s local pub in Pocklington, where he seems to have done most of his growing up, and which is really important to him and he says it makes me really permanent that I’ve been there with him.
Then we set off towards Whitby. We found a campsite at Pickering and are staying there tonight. Very cold, and very tired. We’ve got a great tent though. Really snug. We’ve zipped our sleeping bags together.
Sat 26th Oct, 1985
We were absolutely freezing all last night, couldn’t warm each other up and didn’t sleep a wink, so we set off back for Pocklington again today. We made it in an hour and three quarters!
We had a bath, watched some cosy films and went to a proper nice warm bed together. We’re on our own here. Everyone else is on holiday.
*It turns out it was actually something called vaginismus, where the woman’s muscles clamp shut. I’ve written about this elsewhere.
___
Labels: Girls' Fun
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