Domestic Minutiae

Firstly, I had a bath this morning. I had a bath because my hair needed washing, and washing it in a bath is so much more enjoyable than any of the alternatives. But it was really hot and I started to feel faint and ill, so I got out again. Thinking back, it was immediately after the lying-back-and-dunking-whole-head-in-steaming-hot-bath thing that I started feeling ill. Which is why my hair was wet. But as I sat in my favourite rocking chair eating breakfast and watching some kind of house-selling thing with my head wrapped in a towel, something didn't feel right. I couldn't work it out. Had I actually washed my hair? Well it was wet, so I must have done, right?

Wrong.

I had a shower second time round. It didn't make me feel faint.

Secondly, I have spent most of the morning in my towelling dressing gown. I wanted one of these for ages, cos I loved the idea of not having to dry myself after the bath. I'm a big fan of long hot deep baths, cos they make me feel relaxed (when they're not making me feel faint). And the thing to do after such a bath is to lie down. Or sit in a rocking chair watching daytime telly. But drying yourself is not a relaxing activity. It's frenetic, and it involves bending over a lot, and it just isn't relaxing. But when you can encase yourself entirely in towelling you don't need to dry yourself! So I asked for a dressing gown for Christmas. And I got one. A fleecy one. No good for getting dry after a bath. Don't get me wrong, it's a very nice snuggly dressing gown, and furthermore it is the correct colour. A nice dark blue. But it won't dry me.

In films people have white dressing gowns, all fluffy and glamorous-looking. But I don't live in a film, I live in the real life of lazy people who don't want to wash enormous bulky dressing gowns every time they have a bath, and like to laze around drinking tea and eating jam on toast whilst wearing said garments, and are a bit clumsy and have a tendency to spill stuff down themselves. But not only am I a lazy housewife, I am also a lazy shopper, and when I went in TWO SEPARATE SHOPS and neither of them had navy blue dressing gowns for girls, I had to plump for a hideous mauve colour. I may as well have got white. At least I like white.

So anyway, not only is it a horrible shade of lilac it is also, now, obviously, covered in tea stains. It's a disgusting article altogether. And ever since I bought it, I've wanted to replace it with a nice navy one. But ever since I bought it I've been skint, and not able to justify the expense.

And anyway I'm not much of a consumer. Although it's true that every time I go shopping I come home with three items for every one on my list (cos I'm hopeless at making decisions - most recent example is coming home with two kittens instead of one), I only go shopping once a year and I hate buying new stuff if I can't mend or reuse old stuff. And not only am I not interested in labels or snazzy techno-items, I don't even recognise the names of high-prestige designers, etc. Apparently I once bought a designer dress. I didn't have a clue. I just liked it.

Anyway. All this means I won't let myself buy a new dressing gown. Cos although this one is BLOODY AWFUL, it does the job. There's nothing functionally wrong with it. And I don't have any money.

That was a really boring post, wasn't it?

Anyone want to buy me a new dressing gown for Christmas?

Actually, I don't mean that. That would be weird. Unless you're my mum.


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