How Am I?

I found myself asking myself, "How am I?" just now. When I realised I was running my fifth bath this week, and that nightly baths is something I only do when I'm quite chilled out and not running around every evening doing mad Doingy Stuff right the way up till way past bedtime.

So I thought, "Does this mean I'm all right?"

Well, maybe. I'm still jittery though, not very relaxed. My life at the moment is like this big long walk through a whole Load Of Stuff which keeps being there and not going away, like Trying To Have Babies and Trying To Get Published and Trying To Be A Mum and Trying To Earn A Living, all crowding around me and being a bit much. But then I thought, isn't this just what my life is always like, with me constantly trying to Do Things all the time and Making Plans and looking forward to tomorrow, next week, next year when everything will be Sorted Out because of all this stuff I'm putting myself through in the here and present, but I never actually arrive?

Hmm.

Ah well.


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